We all talk on occasion about how unfair or unkind our spouse is to us, but how often do we consider our own slip-ups that way? It’s worth a few minutes of honest introspection (say the length of this podcast) because the reality is…IF your spouse not seeing things your way, or acquiescing to your point of view, or not changing their behavior out of love and concern for you and you’re getting emotional about it, you can bet that the way you are communicating with them is having the opposite effect. Certain approaches, disrespectful approaches, only dampen or damage your spouse’s desire to love you or to be loved BY you.
In this episode of the WifeSavers Podcast, How to Avoid Disrespect When You’re Displeased (and Why You Want To Try), multi-award-winning marriage author and educator, Ramona Zabriskie and her husband of 40+ years, Dale, show a demoralized wife how easily and how often she may be slipping into disrespect and how she can use alternative wording and attitudes to more effectively communicate with her husband.
THROW ME A WIFESAVER: “My husband says I’m too critical but I don’t see it. What is he seeing that I’m not?”
Listen and learn how the things we say and how we say them, though they may seem logical and fair to us, may actually qualify as toxic, blame-oriented, or manipulative to some degree, and how it’s possible to inspire openness, connection, and genuine change, instead of shame, defensiveness, and anger.
Key Topics:
- What respect vs disrespect breeds in a relationship
- The markers of disrespectful vs. respectful communication
- The two most important attitudes to incorporate into all your communication
- Four common approaches to conversation that never work out well
- Your actual motivation vs. what you’re telling yourself
- How to reset your heart so your approach is more genuine and congruent
- How to specifically reframe your message so that you actually make things better
“This is my favorite podcast. So much truth and wisdom shared in every episode! I feel like I’m sitting with them in their living room and we’re old friends! ✮✭✭✭✭” Apple Podcasts listener
Related episodes:
Ep 25: He Doesn’t Really Listen: How To Communicate So He’ll Care (soliciting his engagement in an effective way)
Ep 11: Turning Negative Communication to the Positive (pleasant persuasion vs forcefulness in everyday exchanges)
Ep 16: Seeing Eye to Eye: What To Do When You Don’t (getting to a solution on a matter you disagree on)
Ep 12: His Criticism Hurts: What To Do When Your Husband is Unfair or Unkind (differentiating b/t the different types of criticism and optimal responses to each type)
✅ You’ll want to combine this episode with Ramona’s FREE Masterclass: “Understanding Your Husbands and Sons”: https://wifesavers.org/masterclass
The end of your podcast reminded me of something my husband taught me.
Before he ever opens his mouth he asks himself three questions.
1.) does this need to be said?
2.) does this need to be said by me?
3.) does this need to be said by me right now?
I really enjoyed your podcast. It’s good to be reminded how to communicate most effectively. I think we all know but get lost in our human drama that we forget to act human. Glad I took the time to listen to this podcast!
Thank you!